When Men Fail Us

It’s the moment when your expectations are squashed. The day when you realize that who they are is not who they were supposed to be and neither are you. The experience of being let down, letting others down, and looking around asking, “Who can I trust?”.

The strength, integrity, passion and purpose exhibited in the lives of men can provide so much security for the lives around them. And the lack-of can do the exact opposite. When men fail us society takes a hit, homes suffer, and individual hearts are affected.

I walked away sad from a recent conversation with a friend who is experiencing this in her life. She’s never experienced a godly example of being cared for by men in her family, and because of this, relationships in the church are difficult to navigate as she wades the unknown waters of trying to figure out what is normal, and what is not. I walked away sad because I thought of all the relationships she had with men, and it would be very easy for her to doubt the goodness of God in her life if she chose to see Him through the lens of these relationships . Then my heart was overcome with the reminder of Jesus and who He is. The perfect Man. One who will not let us down and who won’t handle our hearts with collateral damage down the road. The weight of my heart was lifted as I thought of Christ.

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

Psalm 34:5

Showing us perfect love, Christ descended to take on our form and our appearance.
Christ related to every woman with perfect purity, restoring their God-given dignity. Jesus got close and called them to Himself, for Himself, by Himself; He did all of this with glorious and transcendent love.

In the heart of every woman—every human for that matter—there lies a longing to posses what will not fail us. To depend upon someone dependent. To have faith in someone’s faithfulness. To love and to be loved. Holding fast to this desire, we want and are found wanting when we resolve to satisfy these desires with what has been made. I used the word earlier, “transcendent love”, very particularly. This is the biblical truth that our souls were made to be loved by God’s love, who alone is transcendent— He is far above all things in His worth and glory. It’s this hope that sturdies the shaky realizations of life that come through the failure of men. This hope is meant to be depended on and trusted in. Jesus is meant to be needed. We were made to need Christ who would not fail us.

I don’t have much more to say on this subject, but I know there are countless of hurting women who have experienced the souring of man’s love for them. This is not my story, as I have been so wonderfully loved by my husband, but I have sat in front of many women whose story this has become. And what I love to tell them is what I love to tell you: Jesus will not fail us! His love is unfailing. Test it, try it, wring it out— no impurity will be found.
That’s a wonderful thought when you think about it. Every person Jesus calls to Himself is met with a nearness that will not threaten their well-being. Jesus restores to them who He made them to be and satisfies every longing soul. When men fail us, let’s lift our eyes once more and remember Christ, the God-Man who will never fail. We can stay in that thought the rest of our lives, letting it bolster up our confidence and courage to love as He loves us—women who have failed time and time again.